So motorcycle trials is a thing, you know? My parents are weirdly into it; I was once sent to a day camp for aspiring young trials riders, which I only made it two days into because the camp instructors were nonplussed by my primary skill being crying because I didn’t want to ride my Beta right at a giant fucking rock in hopes that I might climb it rather than pancake up against it. I have met and conversed with multiple time world champion Dougie Lampkin! I fell deeply in love with a handsome fifteen year old Spaniard during a three-day trials event held in Watkins Glen, New York. I was seven, though, so it didn’t really work out.
Trials Evolution is totally different in that it is a video game but exactly the same in that I am primarily good at smashing my face into a rock and then screaming “I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE.”