Pop Culture Mulcher

The Dark Knight Rises

And he does so for two hours and forty four goddamn minutes. I’ve been impatient since utero; my mother had a mere hour and twenty minutes of labor. An hour and twenty minutes. My mother coud have had two of me during The Dark Knight Rises. That is just unacceptable.

Movies are supposed to be movies, not places where you are cryogenically frozen by the world’s coldest air conditioner while holding popcorn, only to emerge several years later to see the world around you has changed drastically, everyone you loved has died, and you now need to learn how to drive a hover car.