February 2012
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Things I've watched this year that have made me...
True Grit (OH MY GOD, LITTLE BLACKIE)
Never Let Me Go (OH MY GOD, EVERYONE)
We Need To Talk About Kevin (OH MY GOD, MY CHILD WOULD PROBABLY BE A PSYCHOPATH WHO RUINS MY AND EVERYONE ELSE’S LIFE)
Martha Marcy May Marlene (OH MY GOD, NOTHING WITH A CULT ENDS WELL)
Keeping Up With The Kardashians
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sharpless asked: Also, I know you don't give a fuck, but E.T. was for the Atari 2600, not the NES. I'M A NERD, I HAVE TO CORRECT YOU, OKAY?
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I'm going to call it;
Angry Birds is the worst game ever. I’m counting that unplayable E.T. game for the NES.
Edit: Atari 2600. I’m sorry sharpless. Please don’t make me turn in my nerd badge. :(
Anonymous asked: Just cause you fuckin suck at a game doesn't make it bad.
“‘Oh my god, are you going to bring out a pony next?’ asks...”
– Wired recap of the reality show The Tester.
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Survival tactics and the movie The Strangers
It’s not a well made movie and nobody in it can act their way out of a paper bag, but goddamn if it didn’t scare me.
I grew up deep in the woods and while I don’t fear nature and it’s many ways to irritate you and/or fuck you up (bugs, animals, plants that make your whole ass itch if you sit in the wrong place), I have a healthy fear of anyone who you may encounter in the...
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January 2012
27 posts
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“I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.”
– Sylvia Plath (via incorrectsylviaplathquotes)
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Infinite Drunk Ron Swanson →
You are welcome.
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chloroform replied to your post:
“Do you even go to this school?” “No, I just have a lot of feelings.”
It’s almost like clapping if you watch it long enough!
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Anonymous asked: your post about timothy green was preposterous. it's an outstanding film; i burst into tears seeing it in pre-previews (my good friend worked on it). you have no idea what you're missing out on, lame tumblr-movie-critic.
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"But with a woman."
When someone finishes a sentence about a piece of media with that, I’m done listening because Jesus, waste somebody else’s time with your thinly veiled sexism parading around as a media critique.
“X is just like Y, but with a woman!”
… And? I’m sorry you had to see a woman in a role you associate with a man. That must be really hard for you.
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“It made me so mad/sad/sexually frustrated/happy/nervous/farty, I threw my copy...”
– Every book review written by an overly excitable person, ever.
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While I admire everyone else's self-restraint,
I have already watched all of the second series of Downton Abbey. And the Christmas special.
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Gotham City Impostors and Amy
Can we talk? Can we rap? Can we get real?
I’m so excited about Gotham City Impostors coming out next week (edit: nope, delayed!) for Xbox Live Arcade, people! Read that in an Oprah voice. Anyway, it looks so fucking whimsical, which was my favorite thing about the Bioshock 2 multiplayer — I mean, when you put aside the fact that it’s an ongoing civil war between two drug...
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A month and a half after purchasing it, I am...
I hope that my family will sue Bethesda when they find my desiccated corpse propped up in front of the television, holding a controller.
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Scariest movie I've ever seen: Titanic
It plays on my fears of the ocean, drowning, the ocean at night, drowning at night, and other people. As if being trapped on a fucking ship with them isn’t bad enough, being trapped drowning with a bunch of people is the worst possible fate I can imagine.
I still have nightmares about that scene where they climb the railing and are facing down towards the rest of the boat, watching it sink...
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More like Grantham's Anatomy
Downton Abbey is crazy, y’all.
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How terrible is that one marriage on All American...
The one where the guy converted?
You start a new relationship with someone.
You have a dog that you have had for ten years and are very emotionally attached to.
The person you are in a relationship with has an allergy to dogs and is unwilling to live with dogs.
Also, they want you to convert to Islam even though you’re kind of meh about it.
???
Get married!
NO.
Come to my couples...
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My Almost Completely Reasonable New Year's...
Try to cut back on turning to strangers in movie theaters when something shocking happens to give them a HOLY SHEEEEYT DID YOU SEE THAT look. Of course they just saw what happened. They are staring at the same mammoth screen I am.
Admit that I have mostly terrible taste in music, both to myself and others. I probably don’t know what band you’re talking about, and if I do,...
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“Oh my god, that bitch did NOT just imply Patmore’s kitchen is dirty.”
– Guy feels ways about things during our New Year’s Eve Downton Abbey marathon.
December 2011
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And A Happy New Year!
Christmas was a non-event this year. We don’t decorate our house for Christmas. We tell ourselves and others it’s because the whole! city! decorates! for us! I mean, we do have that thirty foot Christmas tree a block away in Campus Martius (please don’t use that information to stalk me or hunt me down and wear me as a jaunty fat girl suit), so it’s kind of true. Really,...
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Top Five Rockstar Games Characters I Would, To Put...
Packie McCreary (GTA IV)
Bonnie McFarlane (Red Dead Redemption)
Jack Kelso (L.A. Noire)
Niko Bellic (GTA IV)
Jimmy Hopkins after he graduates from Bullworth Academy (Bully: Scholarship Edition)
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The Diablo Cody Bleakness Theorem states that with...
After seeing Young Adult, I can only assume that the next movie will open with someone blowing their brains out and the following eighty nine minutes will simply be shots of their slowly decaying and completely unnoticed by the neighbors corpse. But, like, in an ironic way.
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All American Muslim
I’m watching All American Muslim, OF COURSE. I’m in Detroit and half the time I leave the city proper, it’s to go into Dearborn. Plus, my minor for undergrad was international studies, though it was essentially four years of taking classes about and becoming increasingly fascinated with Islam. I’m watching.
I have been watching through splayed fingers, hoping that it does...
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